April Fool's Day

Last year on this day, Saurabh left for Boston. Little did I know that it was for the last time. That morning he was optimistic after a very long time. He was confident that he had the week in his grip and he had an actionable plan to get his teams on track.

I was very happy for a change. My interview process had been going aggressively so I hoped to hear back from someone soon as well. It was Agra Mummy's birthday.. the hillock was turning green. Everything seemed fine. And then through random chats, Saurabh video called me to tell me that he had been laid off.

I joked that he was making a fool of me on April Fool's day. He looked sullen and I made more fun. He went and got a paper that he held up against the screen and I couldnt read it. It was at that moment that it hit me that he was all alone and so far away.

I immediately put on my shoes, picked up the kids from school, dropped them off at Sujata's and drove off to Boston. Called up Sujata with minimum details and asked her to keep the kids overnight. Thank goodness for a friend who I could count on without asking a question she kept the kids safe.

I reached Boston and I knew that things had changed. My Saurabh was heart broken. But I thought that we would get through this because he is my rock. At that time I thought that his rock is Agra Mummy and he will be fine once he would talk to her. Or maybe not.

Either ways, I packed his things and made dinner - wrapped up every last little piece of hope that he had put together in that teeny tiny apartment. I took his pictures and I listen to his heart breaking and the noise of 'betrayal' of WayFair when they disconnected his account even before he could say good bye.

We drove back home counting out blessings but mostly Saurabh was quiet if not loudly optimistic. Was that a facade or was that a self consolation?

It was an April Fool's day and maybe I was a fool to believe that this dismissal from Wayfair was for the better for our family.

Halka Halka Suroor

Boy:

ये जो हल्का-हल्का सुरूर है
तेरे इश्क़ का ही फ़ितूर है
मैंने जो लिखा था मिटा दिया
और तुझको अपना ख़ुदा किया

Girl:

ये जो हल्का-हल्का सुरूर है
तूने कुछ किया तो ज़रूर है
जिस दिन से तू है दिखा पिया
मैंने साँस लेना भुला दिया

Boy:

जिस्म से रूह का इक सफ़र हो तुम
आखरी साँस में इक उमर हो तुम
Girl:

दुनिया की भीड़ में मुझको बस तू दिखे
क्या मैं तुमको दिखूँ? कहो ना तुम

Boy:

ये जो हल्का-हल्का सुरूर है
कुछ इश्क़ सा तो ज़रूर है

Girl:

मैंने जगना-सोना भुला दिया
मुझे क्या से क्या है बना दिया

Boy:

तू मेरे खून में बह रहा है कहीं
तू मेरे ख्वाब में जग रहा है कहीं

Girl:

मेरी हर बात में बस तेरा ज़िक्र है
कुछ मेरे बारे में कहो ना तुम

Boy:

ये जो हल्का-हल्का सुरूर है

तेरे इश्क़ का ही फ़ितूर है
मैंने जो लिखा था मिटा दिया
और तुझको अपना ख़ुदा किया

Girl:

किसी ने ना किया है जैसा इश्क़ तेरा मेरा
मैं दौड़ता आता हूँ कोई नाम ले जो तेरा
किसी ने ना किया है जैसा इश्क़ तेरा मेरा
मेरे ग़मों की रात का तू उजला सवेरा

Boy:

रहने दो ना नशे में

तुम फेरो ना नज़र
हल्का सा ही आया है
अभी चाहत का असर

Girl:

ये जो हल्का-हल्का सुरूर है
तूने कुछ किया तो ज़रूर है
ये जो हल्का-हल्का सुरूर है

To My Caregiver

Who are you? Where have you come from? In my mind you look like a human but in my heart, I realize that you are the SUPREME power. You exit these doors every day and mingle into the crowds as just another someone on the streets. Outside these doors, you must be a father, a mother, a friend to someone of your own. But in here you have shown the patience of a father, the nurture of a mother, the understanding of a friend to someone who just crashed into your care one time.

You have a name that I do not remember, you have a voice that I do not recognize, you have a face that I do not know. I really don’t know who you are, but you have given me more than just my life back - you have walked me through the toughest time of my life that no one should be subjected to endure. You have lived my pain with m. And yet still, you are a stranger to me.

Today when you exit these door, you will be just another someone on those streets. But when you walk back in through these doors, you will be that stranger to someone else. You will be their supreme power.